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Release
CHILD SAFETY IS MORE THAN A SLOGAN
“Stranger-Danger” Warnings Not Effective at Keeping Kids
Safer
By Nancy McBride, National Safety Director
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children www.missingkids.com
“Stranger danger” - the phrase is so pervasive
in our culture that it has become part of the lexicon. Well-intentioned
adults perpetuate this misguided message, and the media often uses it
as a slogan. A recent case illustrates how literal children may be when
given a specific message. The child in this case may have evaded his rescuers,
because he had been taught “not to talk to strangers.”
This case and many others clearly illustrate how literal children may
be when given a specific message. That’s why the National Center
for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) has never supported the “stranger-danger”
message, especially because experience has shown us that most children
are actually taken by someone they know or are familiar with.
So what does “stranger danger” really mean, and do children
benefit from an outdated and incomplete message? Here’s what we
have learned about the “stranger-danger” concept
- Children don’t get it.
- Adults don’t practice it.
- It doesn’t go far enough in protecting children from potential
danger.
When questioned, children will often describe a “stranger”
as someone who is “ugly or mean.” They don’t perceive
nice-looking or friendly people as “strangers.” And if someone
talks to a child or is even around a child more than once, that person
loses his or her “stranger” status. The child then thinks
he or she “knows” the person. Children also want to be helpful,
thrive on adult approval, and respond to adult authority. So, if someone
with ill intent asks them to perform a task or tells them something has
happened to a loved one, chances are good the child can be tricked.
The “stranger-danger” message becomes even more confusing
for children since they can’t tell by looking at someone whether
or not the person is “good” or “bad.” Wouldn’t
it be great if we could point out the “bad” people to our
children and be done with it? Whether it’s in a grocery store or
at a baseball game, adults break the rule of “don’t talk to
strangers” all the time. But adults have the benefit of experience,
judgment, and decision-making skills; children do not. And sometimes adults
are wrong. So, if we can’t identify “bad” people, we
certainly can’t expect our children to.
Today, kids need to be empowered with positive messages and safety skills
that will build their self esteem and self confidence while helping to
keep them safer. Kids don’t need to be told the world is a scary
place. They watch the news, hear adults talking, and may even experience
violence firsthand. Rather, they need to know their parent, guardian,
or another trusted adult is there for them if they are in trouble; and
most adults they encounter in their lives are basically good people.
When we tell children to “never talk to strangers,” we have
effectively eliminated a key source of help for them if they are in trouble.
If they’re lost they may be surrounded by many “strangers”
who could conceivably help them if they would only ask for it. Since we
know parents and guardians can’t be with their children every second
of the day, we need to give children “safety nets” of people
they can go to if they need help. Those individuals may include uniformed
law-enforcement or security officers; a store salesperson with a nametag;
the person in an information booth at a mall or other public venue; or
a mother with children.
In specific situations such as being lost outside, the safety messages
need to be tailored to those circumstances.
- A child should never wander away from where they first became lost.
If they stay put, chances are better that they will be found more quickly
- If that place becomes too dangerous because of severe weather or another
threatening situation, children should go to the nearest safe spot and
wait for rescuers
- Children should make noise either by yelling, blowing a whistle, or
just attracting attention. This will help in bringing someone to their
rescue.
Parents and guardians can make child safety part of a child’s
everyday life in a non-threatening way by practicing some of these skills.
Whether it’s checking first with a trusted adult, taking a friend,
or avoiding and getting out of dangerous situations, there are easy “what
if” scenarios to practice with your children to make sure they “get
it.” Make outings to a mall or park an opportunity to reinforce
these skills. That way they won’t have to wonder what to do if lost
or in danger. Do this on a regular basis to make sure it becomes second
nature. At the same time reassure them you are there for them, and remind
them there are other people who can help.
NCMEC believes the time is now for our society to retire the “stranger-danger”
message; realize child safety is much more important than a slogan; and
make sure we are arming our children with relevant, age-appropriate messages
that will empower them. Remember, there is nothing on earth that beats
our parental, guardian, and caregiver supervision and attention in helping
to keep our children safer.
For more safety information and free publications for families
go to www.missingkids.com
or call NCMEC’s 24-hour toll-free hotline at 1-800.843.5678.
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