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Key Facts and Safety Tips

What To Do If Your Teenager Has Been Invited To Meet Someone They Have First Met Online.

FACT: It is common for teenagers to communicate with people they first "meet" online, especially when in chatrooms.1 Adults and even older teens seeking to exploit others don't necessarily tell the truth about who they are. They can be deceptive, manipulative, and deceitful concerning their true identity and/or intent. It is not uncommon for people to lie about their name, age, location, or even send a picture of someone else and claim it is them. It can be tempting to get together with someone first "met" online, but remember that people are not always who they seem to be.2 Therefore the biggest danger to your children's personal safety is if they get together with someone or meet someone offline who they first "met" online.3

If your children tell you that someone they have first "met" online wants to meet them in person

  • Commend them for being forthcoming with information
  • Remind them not to give out personal information or meet anyone in person without your prior knowledge and consent.4 Personal information does not just include your child's full name, address, and telephone number. This also includes simple information that at first you may not realize is a risk to give out such as your first name and the name of the state or city where you live, the name of the school you attend, and details about things like your sports team.

If you want to consider a meeting

  • Ask to talk to the other child's parents/guardians/custodians
  • Accompany your child to the meeting
  • Meet with the other child and his or her parents/guardians/ custodians in a public place5

Also see Child Safety on the Information Highway, Teen Safety on the Information Highway, Preventing the Sexual Exploitation of Children, and other safety brochures posted on NCMEC's web site, www.missingkids.com, under "More Publications."

At What Age Are Children Most At Risk To Abduction And Exploitation?

Answer: Teens. Teenagers, 12-19, especially GIRLS, are the most victimized segment of the population in the United States.6

In regard to abducted children, of those reported missing in 1999, 44% were 15 to 17 years old, 30% were 12 to 14 years old, 14% were 6 to 11 years old, and 12% were 5 years old or younger.7

In regard to sexually exploited children, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys will be victimized before adulthood.8

Also see Know the Rules, Know the Rules…Abduction and Kidnapping Prevention Tips for Parents, General Parental Tips To Help Keep Your Children Safer, and Preventing the Sexual Exploitation of Children posted on NCMEC's web site, www.missingkids.com, under "More Publications."

How Many Children Have Received A Sexual Solicitation Or Approach Over The Internet In A One-Year Period Of Time?

DEFINITION: Sexual solicitations and approaches are requests to engage in sexual activities or sexual talk or give personal sexual information that were unwanted or, whether wanted or not, made by an adult.9

Answer: Approximately 1 in 5. Based on interviews with a nationally representative sample of 1,501 youth ages 10 to 17 who use the Internet regularly approximately 1 in 5 received a sexual solicitation or approach over the Internet in 1999.10 In addition, for 3% of regular Internet users (one in seven of all the solicitations), the Internet sexual solicitation included an attempt to contact the youth in person, over the telephone, or by regular mail (mail sent through the U.S. Postal Service).11 The survey suggests that youth encounter a substantial quantity of offensive episodes, some of which are distressing and most of which are unreported.12

Also see Highlights of the Youth Internet Safety Survey posted on NCMEC's web site, www.missingkids.com, under "Frequently Asked Questions & Statistics."

How To Keep Your Children Safer Online

Make it a family rule to

  • Never give out identifying information and remember that includes more than just your full name, address, and telephone number because people online could identify you when knowing your first name, the state in which you live, the school you attend, and your sports team
  • Never allow a child to arrange a face-to-face or offline meeting with someone they first "meet" on the Internet without parental/guardian/custodial permission, a parent/guardian/custodial going along, and having the meeting in a public place
  • Never respond to messages that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent, threatening, or make you feel uncomfortable. Instead consider blocking the sender, saving the message in an E-mail or other electronic document, and telling your parents/guardians/custodians right away.

Always

  • Find out if your child uses E-mail somewhere other than your home or has a free web-based E-mail account and learn their user names and passwords on all such accounts
  • Be aware of other electronic devices that can be used to access the Internet and monitor their use by your children. Examples of some electronic devices that your children may use include cell phone, personal pocket computer, commonly referred to as I-Paq and/or PDA, blackberry, and entertainment computer/video games.
  • Set reasonable rules and guidelines for computer use by your children that may include the hours between which your child is allowed to be online and for how long
  • Look into blocking, filtering, and ratings applications keeping in mind your children can easily find directions online for how to get around these applications
  • Be sure to make this a family activity by keeping the computer in a family room or somewhere that is always within public view rather than the child's bedroom or a room such as the basement in which there is less family traffic
  • Call NCMEC's CyberTipline at 1-800-843-5678 or file a report online at www.cybertipline.com if someone sends you or your children messages or images that are indecent, lewd, or obscene with the intent to abuse, annoy, harass, or threaten you, or if you become aware of the transmission, use, or viewing of pornographic images of children while online13

Also see also Teen Safety on the Information Highway posted on NCMEC's web site, www.missingkids.com, under "More Publications."

1Lawrence J. Magid. Teen Safety on the Information Highway. Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2003, page 8 [hereinafter Teen Safety].
2Id., page 9.
3Id., page 16.
4Know the Rules…Internet Safety Quiz for Adults. Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 1998, pages 1-2.
5Teen Safety, supra note 1, pages 16-17.
6Bureau of Justice Statistics Sourcebook of Criminal Justice Statistics-1996. Washington, D.C.:
Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice, pages 210-211.
7Andrea J. Sedlak, David Finkelhor, Heather Hammer, and Dana J. Schultz. "National Estimates of Missing Children: An Overview." National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway, and Throwaway Children. Washington, DC: Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice, October 2002, page 7.
8David Finkelhor. "Current Information on the Scope and Nature of Child Sexual Abuse." The Future of Children: Sexual Abuse of Children, 1994, Volume 4, page 37.
9David Finkelhor, Kimberly J. Mitchell, and Janis Wolak. Online Victimization: A Report on the National's Youth. Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2000, page x.
10Id., page ix.
11Id., page xiiii
12Id., page xvii
13Lawrence J. Magid. Child Safety on the Information Highway. Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2003, pages 11-13.

 
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