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Key Facts and Safety Tips
What To Do If Your Teenager Has Been Invited To Meet
Someone They Have First Met Online.
FACT: It is common for teenagers to communicate with people they
first "meet" online, especially when in chatrooms.1 Adults and
even older teens seeking to exploit others don't necessarily tell the
truth about who they are. They can be deceptive, manipulative, and deceitful
concerning their true identity and/or intent. It is not uncommon for people
to lie about their name, age, location, or even send a picture of someone
else and claim it is them. It can be tempting to get together with someone
first "met" online, but remember that people are not always
who they seem to be.2 Therefore the
biggest danger to your children's personal safety is if they get together
with someone or meet someone offline who they first "met" online.3
If your children tell you that someone they have first "met"
online wants to meet them in person
- Commend them for being forthcoming with information
- Remind them not to give out personal information or meet anyone in
person without your prior knowledge and consent.4
Personal information does not just include your child's full name, address,
and telephone number. This also includes simple information that at
first you may not realize is a risk to give out such as your first name
and the name of the state or city where you live, the name of the school
you attend, and details about things like your sports team.
If you want to consider a meeting
- Ask to talk to the other child's parents/guardians/custodians
- Accompany your child to the meeting
- Meet with the other child and his or her parents/guardians/ custodians
in a public place5
Also see Child Safety on the Information Highway, Teen Safety on the
Information Highway, Preventing the Sexual Exploitation of Children,
and other safety brochures posted on NCMEC's web site, www.missingkids.com,
under "More Publications."
At What Age Are Children Most At Risk To Abduction And
Exploitation?
Answer: Teens. Teenagers, 12-19, especially GIRLS, are the most
victimized segment of the population in the United States.6
In regard to abducted children, of those reported missing in 1999, 44%
were 15 to 17 years old, 30% were 12 to 14 years old, 14% were 6 to 11
years old, and 12% were 5 years old or younger.7
In regard to sexually exploited children, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys
will be victimized before adulthood.8
Also see Know the Rules, Know the Rules
Abduction and Kidnapping
Prevention Tips for Parents, General Parental Tips To Help Keep Your Children
Safer, and Preventing the Sexual Exploitation of Children posted
on NCMEC's web site, www.missingkids.com,
under "More Publications."
How Many Children Have Received A Sexual Solicitation
Or Approach Over The Internet In A One-Year Period Of Time?
DEFINITION: Sexual solicitations and approaches are requests to engage
in sexual activities or sexual talk or give personal sexual information
that were unwanted or, whether wanted or not, made by an adult.9
Answer: Approximately 1 in 5. Based on interviews with a nationally
representative sample of 1,501 youth ages 10 to 17 who use the Internet
regularly approximately 1 in 5 received a sexual solicitation or approach
over the Internet in 1999.10
In addition, for 3% of regular Internet users (one in seven of all the
solicitations), the Internet sexual solicitation included an attempt to
contact the youth in person, over the telephone, or by regular mail (mail
sent through the U.S. Postal Service).11
The survey suggests that youth encounter a substantial quantity of offensive
episodes, some of which are distressing and most of which are unreported.12
Also see Highlights of the Youth Internet Safety Survey posted
on NCMEC's web site, www.missingkids.com,
under "Frequently Asked Questions & Statistics."
How To Keep Your Children Safer Online
Make it a family rule to
- Never give out identifying information and remember that includes
more than just your full name, address, and telephone number because
people online could identify you when knowing your first name, the state
in which you live, the school you attend, and your sports team
- Never allow a child to arrange a face-to-face or offline meeting with
someone they first "meet" on the Internet without parental/guardian/custodial
permission, a parent/guardian/custodial going along, and having the
meeting in a public place
- Never respond to messages that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent,
threatening, or make you feel uncomfortable. Instead consider blocking
the sender, saving the message in an E-mail or other electronic document,
and telling your parents/guardians/custodians right away.
Always
- Find out if your child uses E-mail somewhere other than your home
or has a free web-based E-mail account and learn their user names and
passwords on all such accounts
- Be aware of other electronic devices that can be used to access the
Internet and monitor their use by your children. Examples of some electronic
devices that your children may use include cell phone, personal pocket
computer, commonly referred to as I-Paq and/or PDA, blackberry, and
entertainment computer/video games.
- Set reasonable rules and guidelines for computer use by your children
that may include the hours between which your child is allowed to be
online and for how long
- Look into blocking, filtering, and ratings applications keeping in
mind your children can easily find directions online for how to get
around these applications
- Be sure to make this a family activity by keeping the computer in
a family room or somewhere that is always within public view rather
than the child's bedroom or a room such as the basement in which there
is less family traffic
- Call NCMEC's CyberTipline at 1-800-843-5678 or file a report online
at www.cybertipline.com if
someone sends you or your children messages or images that are indecent,
lewd, or obscene with the intent to abuse, annoy, harass, or threaten
you, or if you become aware of the transmission, use, or viewing of
pornographic images of children while online13
Also see also Teen Safety on the Information Highway posted on
NCMEC's web site, www.missingkids.com,
under "More Publications."
1Lawrence J. Magid. Teen Safety on the
Information Highway. Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing
& Exploited Children, 2003, page 8 [hereinafter Teen Safety].
2Id., page 9.
3Id., page 16.
4Know the Rules
Internet Safety Quiz for Adults.
Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children,
1998, pages 1-2.
5Teen Safety, supra note 1, pages 16-17.
6Bureau of Justice Statistics Sourcebook of Criminal Justice
Statistics-1996. Washington, D.C.:
Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice, pages 210-211.
7Andrea J. Sedlak, David Finkelhor, Heather Hammer, and Dana
J. Schultz. "National Estimates of Missing Children: An Overview."
National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway, and Throwaway
Children. Washington, DC: Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency
Prevention, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice, October
2002, page 7.
8David Finkelhor. "Current Information on the Scope and
Nature of Child Sexual Abuse." The Future of Children: Sexual
Abuse of Children, 1994, Volume 4, page 37.
9David Finkelhor, Kimberly J. Mitchell, and Janis Wolak.
Online Victimization: A Report on the National's Youth. Alexandria,
Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2000,
page x.
10Id., page ix.
11Id., page xiiii
12Id., page xvii
13Lawrence J. Magid. Child Safety on the Information Highway.
Alexandria, Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children,
2003, pages 11-13.
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