FAQ: Child Safety

Always check first with a parent, guardian, or trusted adult before going anywhere, accepting anything, or getting into a car with anyone.
Do not go out alone. Always take a friend with when going places or playing outside.
Say no if someone tries to touch you, or treats you in a way that makes you feel sad, scared, or confused. Get out of the situation as quickly as possible.
Tell a parent, guardian, or trusted adult if you feel sad, scared, or confused.
There will always be someone to help you, and you have the right to be safe.

[Safety tips adapted from Know the Rules...Abduction and Harm Prevention Tips for Parents and Guardians. Copyright© 2000 and 2011 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). All rights reserved.]

What should a parent know when talking to a child about safety?

Don’t forget your older children. Children aged 11 to17 are equally at risk to victimization. At the same time you are giving your older children more freedom, make sure they understand important safety rules as well.
Speak to your children in a manner that is calm and reassuring. Children do not need to be frightened to get the point across. In fact, fear can thwart the safety message, because fear can be paralyzing to a child.
Speak openly. Children will be less likely to come to you about issues enshrouded in secrecy. If they feel that you are comfortable discussing the subject at hand, they may be more forthcoming.
Do not teach “stranger danger.” Children do not have the same understanding of “strangers” as adults; the concept is difficult for them to grasp. And, based on what we know about those who harm children, people known to children and/or their families actually present greater danger to children than do “strangers.”
Practice what you preach. You may think your children understand your message, but until they can incorporate it into their daily lives, it may not be clearly understood. Find opportunities to practice “what if” scenarios.
Teach your children that safety is more important than manners. In other words, it is more important for children to get themselves out of a dangerous situation than it is to be polite. They also need to know that it is okay to tell you what happened, and they won’t be tattletales.

Is "stranger danger"—that dangers to kids come from people they do not know—really a myth?

Yes. In the majority of cases the perpetrator is someone the parents or child knows, and that person may be in a position of trust or responsibility to the child and family.

We have learned children do not have the same understanding of who a stranger is as an adult might, therefore, it is a difficult concept for the child to grasp. It is much more beneficial to children to help them build the confidence and self-esteem they need to stay as safe as possible in any potentially dangerous situation they encounter rather than teaching them to be "on the look out" for a particular type of person.

For decades, parents, guardians and teachers have told children to "stay away from strangers" in an effort to keep them safe. In response to the ongoing debate about the effectiveness of this advice, NCMEC has created many resources to help better safeguard children.

For more information on child safety, please visit the Publications section of this website. Pay particular attention to Child Safety Is More Than A Slogan.

What other advice can you offer parents about talking to kids?

Parents should choose opportunities or “teachable” moments to reinforce safety skills. If an incident occurs in your community and your child asks you about it, speak frankly but with reassurance. Explain to your children that you want to discuss the safety rules with them, so that they will know what to do if they are ever confronted with a potentially dangerous situation. Make sure you have “safety nets” in place, so that your children know there is always someone who can help them.

What child safety education resources does the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children provide?

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children offers a wealth of resources to help educate parents, children, law enforcement, and the general public about child safety.

I heard about a tracking device for children on a commercial. Is there one that the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children recommends?

Consumers need to understand that the first line of defense for families is safety education and line-of-sight supervision of their children. If a device is to be used, understand what it can do and cannot do, that machines can fail, and that the tracking device should be, if they choose, an element within a complete safety program for their family.

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