| Child Protection
As a society, our efforts to prevent crimes committed against children have
not kept pace with the increasing vulnerability of our children. After hearing
the tragic stories about abducted or exploited children, most parents and
guardians are surprised to learn many crimes committed against children
can be prevented. This brochure is about child protection.
The most important key to child safety is effective communication with
your child. Remember, children who do not feel they are listened to or
who do not think their needs are met in the home are more vulnerable to
abduction or exploitation. The first step you should take is to establish
an atmosphere in the home in which your child feels truly comfortable
in discussing sensitive matters and relating experiences in which someone
may have approached the child in an inappropriate manner or way that made
the child feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused. The simple truth is
children are often too afraid or confused to report their experiences
and fears.
Unfortunately the rising awareness of crimes committed against children
has left many families with a real sense of fear. You and your child need
to be careful and aware, but you do not need to be afraid. Talk to your
child in a calm and reassuring manner, being careful not to discuss the
frightening details of what might happen to a child who does not follow
the safety guidelines.
The Exploiter or Abductor: Not a "Stranger"
“Stay away from strangers” is a popular warning to children
to prevent abduction or exploitation. Unfortunately, however, many children
are abducted or exploited by people who have some type of familiarity
with them but who may or may not be known to the child’s parents
or guardians.
The term stranger suggests a concept children do not understand and
is one that ignores what we do know about the people who commit crimes
against children. Children may believe they should only be aware of individuals
who have an unusual or slovenly appearance. Instead, it is more appropriate
to teach children to be on the lookout for certain kinds of situations
or actions rather than certain kinds of individuals.
Children can be raised to be polite and friendly, but it is okay for
them to be suspicious of any adult asking for assistance. Children help
other children, but there is no need for them to be assisting adults,
nor should adults request assistance from children. Children should not
be asked to touch anyone in the areas of their body that would be covered
by a bathing suit or allow anyone to touch them in those areas.
Often exploiters or abductors initiate a seemingly innocent contact
with the victim. They may try to get to know the children and befriend
them. They use subtle approaches that both parents or guardians and children
should be aware of. Children should learn to stay away from individuals
in vehicles, and they should know it is okay to say no — even to
an adult. Since children are often reared to respect adult authority and
never be a tattletale, parents and guardians should explain why the child’s
personal safety is more important than being polite. Children should also
be taught to tell a trusted adult and there will always be someone who
can help them.
Remember, a clear, calm, and reassuring message about situations and
actions to lookout for is easier for a child to understand than a particular
profile or image of a “stranger.”
What You Can Do to Prevent Child Abduction and Exploitation
- Know where your children are at all times. Be familiar with their
friends and daily activities.
- Be sensitive to changes in your children’s behavior; they are
a signal you should sit down and talk to your children about what caused
the changes.
- Be alert to a teenager or adult who is paying an unusual amount of
attention to your children or giving them inappropriate or expensive
gifts.
- Teach your children to trust their own feelings, and assure them they
have the right to say no to what they sense is wrong.
- Listen carefully to your children’s fears, and be supportive
in all your discussions with them.
- Teach your children that no one should approach or touch them in a
way that makes them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused. If someone
does, they should immediately tell you.
- Be diligent about babysitters and any other individuals who have custody
of your children. Obtain references from people you trust and see if
you can access background screening information about these individuals.
Many states provide access to sex-offender registries and criminal histories.
Basic Rules of Safety for Children
As soon as your children can articulate a sentence, they can begin the
process of learning how to protect themselves against abduction and exploitation.
Children should be taught
- If you are in a public place, and you get separated from your parents
or guardians, don’t wander around looking for them. Go to a uniformed
law-enforcement or security officer, store salesperson or person in
the information booth with a nametag, or a mother with children and
quickly tell the person you have lost your family and need help finding
them.
- You should not get into a vehicle or go anywhere with any person unless
your parents or guardians have told you it is okay to do so on that
day.
- If someone follows you in a vehicle, stay away from him or her and
turn around and go in the opposite direction. You should not get close
to any vehicle, unless your parent, guardian, or a trusted adult accompanies
you. If someone is following you on foot, run away as fast as you can
and tell a trusted adult what happened.
- Grownups and others who need help should not be asking children for
help, they should be asking older people.
- No one should be asking you for directions, asking you to help look
for something like a “lost puppy,” or telling you your mother
or father is in trouble and he or she will take you to them.
- If someone tries to take you somewhere, quickly get away from him
(or her) and yell or scream, “This man (woman) is trying to take
me away” or “This person is not my father (mother).”
If someone tries to grab you, make a scene and make every effort to
get away by kicking, screaming, and resisting.
- You should try to take a friend with you, and never go places alone.
- Always ask your parents’ or guardians’ permission to leave
the yard or play area or go into someone’s home.
- Never hitchhike. Don’t ride home with anyone unless your parents
or guardians have told you it is okay to do so on that day.
- If someone wants to take your picture, tell him or her no and tell
your parents, guardians, or other trusted adults.
- No one should touch you in the parts of the body that would be covered
by a bathing suit, nor should you touch anyone else in those areas.
Your body is special and private.
- You can be assertive, and you have the right to say no to someone
who tries to take you somewhere; touch you; or make you feel scared,
uncomfortable, or confused in any way.
Detecting Sexual Exploitation
Sexual exploitation should not be confused with physical contacts that
are true expressions of affection. A warm and healthy relationship can
exist if adults respect the child and place reasonable limits on their
physical interaction.
Child molesting is often a repeat crime. Many children are victimized
a number of times. The reality of sexual exploitation is that often the
child is very scared, uncomfortable, confused, and unwilling to talk about
the experience to parents, guardians, teachers, or anyone else. But they
will talk if you have already established an atmosphere of trust and support
in your home where your child will feel free to talk without fear of accusation,
blame, or guilt.
Parents and guardians should be alert to these indicators of sexual exploitation
- Changes in behavior, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, fearfulness,
and excessive crying.
- Bed-wetting, nightmares, fear of going to bed or other sleep disturbances.
- Acting out inappropriate sexual activity or showing an unusual interest
in sexual matters.
- A sudden acting out of feelings or aggressive or rebellious behavior.
- Regression to infantile behavior.
- A fear of certain places, people, or activities, especially being
alone with certain people. Children should not be forced to give affection
to an adult or teenager if they do not want to do so. Be alert to signs
your child is trying to avoid someone and listen carefully when your
child tells you how he or she feels about someone.
- Pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private areas.
Child Protection is the Responsibility of Everyone
Because children cannot lookout for themselves, it is our responsibility
to lookout for them. Every home and school should establish a program
that effectively teaches children about safety and protection measures.
As a parent or guardian, you should take an active interest in your children
and listen to them. Teach your children they can be assertive in order
to protect themselves against abduction and exploitation.
The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children has developed
a publication titled, Guidelines for Programs to Reduce Child Victimization:
A Resource for Communities When Choosing a Program to Teach Personal Safety
to Children that is available upon request. And, most importantly,
make your home a place of trust and support that fulfills your child’s
needs — so he or she won’t seek attention and support from
someone else.
This project was supported by Grant No. 2005-MC-CX-K024
awarded by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention,
Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Points of view
or opinions in this document are those of the author and do not necessarily
represent the official position or policies of the U.S. Department of
Justice. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® and
1-800-THE-LOST® are registered service marks of the National Center
for Missing & Exploited Children.
Copyright © 1985 and 2005 National Center for Missing & Exploited
Children. All rights reserved.
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