Know the Rules...For Children
Who Are Home Alone
In today’s busy society many children are caring for themselves
before or after school and at other times of the year.1Although
the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends adult supervision for children
until about the age of 11 or 12, for many families this isn’t possible.
When faced with this situation, maturity should be the determining factor
in whether a child should be left alone.2
There are a number of important points families should consider prior to
allowing their children to be self-supervised . Parents and guardians need
to assess their children. Does he or she have the personality, self-confidence,
and judgment skills to accept this responsibility? Will the experience
be positive and help build and enhance the child’s self-image, or
will the experience promote additional anxiety in the child who may be
afraid to stay alone?
Having a family conference to discuss the arrangement
is a good place to start. House rules, expectations of each family member,
and a daily routine should be defined. At the end of the day, parents
and guardians may also use the experience to have regular family meetings
to help ensure the arrangement is still working and identify any alterations
needing to be made. Here are some steps your family may take to help
ensure a positive after-school experience.
Before allowing your child to go home alone, you should…
- Determine if there are other community resources or organizations
providing care or support for children who are home alone.
- Ask your child how he or she feels about being alone. Is your child
afraid to be left alone, or does he or she have the maturity and initiative
to want to assume that responsibility?
- Decide if you feel your child is able to follow directions and solve
problems on his or her own.
- Determine how long your child will be alone, accessible you
or another trusted adult will be in case of an emergency, and
safe the neighborhood is by contacting your local law-enforcement
agency and checking the incidence and types of crime in your neighborhood.
- Make sure you’ve set specific rules to be followed by your
child while he or she is alone, and give your child specific instructions
about how to reach you at all times. This should also include information
about what to do if your child needs assistance and can’t reach
you right away.
- Remember you’re in charge, even if it is from a distance.
Once you’ve decided to proceed, you should check to make
sure your child knows…
- His or her full name, address, and telephone number.
- Your full name, the exact name of the place where you work, your
work telephone number, and any pager or cellular telephone numbers you
may have.
- How to make a telephone call to request help in an emergency using
911 or the appropriate number(s) in your area.
- How to carry his or her key so it is hidden and secure. Your name
and address should not be on the key, and it may
be wise to leave an extra key with a trusted friend or neighbor.
- Not to walk or play alone on the way home, and never take shortcuts
home.
- What to do if he or she is being followed. If that happens
your child should turn around, run in the opposite direction, and
go to a designated place to get help and tell a trusted adult what
happened.
- To always check out the home before entering looking
for such things as open, ajar, or broken doors and windows or anything
that doesn’t look right. Go to a designated safe place to call
for help if something doesn’t seem right.
- To always
lock the door after entering and make sure the house is secure.
- To immediately check in with you upon returning home to let you
know he or she has arrived safely.
- To
tell callers you can’t go to the telephone and offer to take
a message instead of letting people know he or she is home alone
- Not to
open the door for or talk to anyone who comes to the home unless
the person is a trusted family friend or relative, he or she feels
comfortable being alone with that person, and the
visit has been pre-approved by you.
- To stay alert for true
emergencies such as a fire or gas-main leak that would require the
need to leave the home.
- To check with you or another trusted
adult if he or she is in doubt about anything.
As a parent or guardian, you should make sure you have...
-
A daily schedule of homework, chores, and activities for your child
to follow.
-
A list kept close to the telephone including numbers
for you, law enforcement, the fire department, an ambulance service,
your doctor, a poison-control center, and a trusted adult who’s
available in case of an emergency.
-
Written instructions about
which, if any, appliances may be used; what to do in case of fire;
and how to get out of the house if there is a fire.
-
A plan
if you are detained and what to do if your child’s
plans change.
-
Instructions about watching television, using
a computer, talking on the telephone, and inviting friends over when
you aren’t
home.
-
Time to discuss the day’s events with your child.
Make sure he or she knows it is okay to discuss anything with you,
especially something that may have made him or her feel scared, uncomfortable,
or confused in any way.
1 According to the National Center for Education Statistics 17 percent of kindergarteners through eighth graders spend time after school in self-care at least once a week, After-School
Programs & Activities: 2005. Washington, DC: National Center for Education Statistics, May 2006, www.nces.ed.gov/pubs2006/afterschool/tables/table_2.asp, accessed July 31, 2008.
2 Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5-12. New
York, New York: The American Academy of Pediatrics, 1999, page 42.
Copyright © 2000 National Center for Missing
& Exploited Children. All rights reserved. This project was supported
by Grant No. 2007-MC-CX-K001 awarded by the Office of Juvenile Justice
and Delinquency Prevention, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department
of Justice. Points of view or opinions in this document are those of
the author and do not necessarily represent the official position or
policies of the U.S. Department of Justice. National Center for Missing & Exploited
Children® and 1-800-THE-LOST® are registered service marks of
the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. NCMEC Order #36. |
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